After a debate with one of my good friends on whether living with somebody or marrying them is better, I believe I have come up with a fairly good answer to this for her.
Yes, a lot of people see living together without being married as a sin, but what happens when you don’t live together and only wind up getting married as you feel you know the other person so well and then you understand this person has odd habits or strange behaviors when you are with them twenty four hours a day seven days a week and the union ends up in a divorce? I’d think that a divorce could be a worse sin than living together.
I was married for a lengthy time to somebody that had been an alcoholic while we were still dating and after we had been married the drinking problem only got worse.
Now I’m living with someone and have found small things I don’t like about this individual and makes me not so sure that I would ever want to marry them or stay together in the long run.
One comment my friend made was “why should he buy the cow if the milk is free?” I started to laugh and said, “Well, the farmer still needs to purchase the cow but the cow is more joyful in the pasture than she’s in the barn or stuck in the bull pen with the bull.”
I think some of the best advice I could give would be to go ahead and move in together before getting married. If you both see that you can live with each other after a year, then you’ll probably have better odds of not getting a divorce. There are some things that you just can’t hide when you’re dating someone and you both go home to different places each night.
Dating them, you would only hear the facts after the event and the individual has calmed down.
If one of those people has a drinking problem it would soon be discovered. It is easy for someone to drop you off for the night and go buy a bottle to drink or hide in their own home where it wouldn’t be easily discovered by you. It is harder to hide the jar or the breath that they have from drinking when you live together.
You’d be able to find out all the little things you don’t like and maybe some qualities you did not realize they had that you do like.
So, for everyone that says living together is not recommended or that it’s a sin, I think maybe you should re-think your answer and stop using the old superhero narrative because the maybe, just maybe, the bunny is happier in the pasture.